Questions let us know so much more than answers

Questions are powerful guides to living a shiny life. Good questions make us think, feel, and decide. Consequently, they make us more aware. They make us feel something – good AND bad, which then makes us take some form of action. This then prompts a response in us – even if the answers are not quite what we expected or wanted.

Let me give you some examples so you can use the true power of questions to shape your life into the joyful shiny experience that it can be.

Good questions give us answers that provide us with:

• a sense of certainty: “I know that now/I understand that/I can take a next step…”
• a small moment of revelation: “ahhh! I get it!”, “oh, that’s what it is!”
• a feeling of relief: a sigh, a smile, a release of the shoulders (yes, sometimes answers are physical, not verbal)
• a sense of clarity: “now I know what to do!” or “I see it now!”
• a boost of confidence, direction and a feeling of rightness: “that’s what needs to happen”
• a need to know more: stimulated curiosity, a desire to understand deeper
• a sense of freedom: permission to go do, be or have what you want

If the questions you are asking are NOT giving you some of the above,

it’s time to update your questioning skills.

What you can do now

Knowing the kind of outcome you want FROM your answer helps you to ask the question in a way that provides it. Let me give you an example. Let’s say you are in overwhelm at the number of things on your ‘to do’ list.

The overwhelm state is likely to produce internal questions like – “how am I ever going to get all these done?!” or “what do I even start with!?” or “why does everyone else have it easy?”. Because when emotions are asking the questions, judgment and self-negation seem to be the way we are wired as humans.

Asking yourself a GOOD question will help you sort and prioritise it.

A good question nearly always leads to another that then gives you the clarity that you want. First, decide what outcome would serve you well – e.g. knowing what to start with or knowing what action to take that makes you money or increases your energy or allows you to access your sense of fun. Once you know what state (outcome) you want to have (movement, clarity, support, relief, joy, creativity, etc.), ask a question that helps to get that. Those might be:

“What activities on here take 5 mins or less?” (identify them, set a timer for 30 mins and get 6 things off the list – great for building momentum and motivation through action)

“If I only had 1 minute to choose, which 3 activities would I choose?” (great for getting a ‘gut feel’)

“Which of these is draining my energy?” (identify it and get that one done – it’s the ‘eat that frog principle’ where you feel good having got something done).

Start with what you REALLY want – it may be the outcome you want (movement, clarity, support) –to help gas your first question.

 How do you know you are on track to asking the right question all the time? The feeling of ‘rightness’ as the answer comes.